I have been not posting I have been to New York, to the NYU debate tournament, spent a week in Williamsburg haunting the college, and then a week later the William and Mary debate tournament.
Lots to digest.
I will relate only this as my excuse for not posting.
[New York, my friend Daubert's apartment:]
Me, him, and my friend Brandon are talking about tons of stuff, Daubert is playing rap music – at some point he mentions the benefits of using vocal recorders to keep track of one’s thoughts..etc. Immediately I flash back to Allen Ginsburg’s recollections of Jack Kerouac and Neil Cassidy, Neil Cassidy infamous (in my memory, if nowhere else) for using this technique and therefore deeply tied to it. I see it’s use as walking in his shadowed footprints. I freak out, make religious apologies and decline ever touching the device. I read the collected coorespondence of Allen and Neil in the Swem library at William and Mary 3 years ago, I know better that to walk with that ghost or ever look like him, ever do as he did.
[Williamsburg, the basement of a house]
I’m talking to a member of the Virginia Tech team and playing beerpong (badly, I was distracted. Sorry TJ) — the Tech guy asks me what’s on my shirt. The shirt was a gift, Wittgenstein’s face above ‘Silence.’ I relate the beginning of an endless praise of my secret dead boyfriend, and at some point (perhaps I was speaking quickly, excitedly. I get that way around debate – old habits and high spirits) he says: “Do you know Neil Cassidy?”
Stalked, all the way home.
The beast that ate Allen Ginsburg’s heart.
Anyway. More later.
June 8, 2009 at 3:58 am |
Dear Andy,
I hope you’re not dead.
Love, Chuk